Not Today

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Please don’t make me get up today.

Don’t make me face the drama or lack of

Don’t ask me to be of use to others

Don’t look for wise food choices from me

Don’t think that just because I know better I will do better

Just for today let me wallow in a state of nothingness

Let me neglect myself and by doing naught for myself do nothing for others

OK

I have taken a deep breath and girded my loins

Thank you for this day

May I be open to all the opportunities that come my way

 

Nick’s Cup

I think I  mentioned in one blog that I am not getting any nicer as I age. In fact, I may be going the other direction. I find myself unable, or unwilling, to control my feelings of vexation and irritation while dealing with others in everyday situations.

Being on an antidepressant does a lot to adjust moods , but the dark side is always there. I am responsible for my actions which are driven by my feelings so I try to keep an eye on myself.

Minding My Ps & Qs
An example of this was worry my sharp tongue might lead to my Beach Bunnies group tossing me into the marsh this year. I talked to a friend who wouldn’t be there. She said she would be thinking of me during the time and hoping the trip went well.

And it did. With her encouragement, my cooperating endorphins and Nick’s cup. 100_1984Nick is the oldest of my three grandsons and it is his sippy cup that ended up being saved…just in case another one came along.

One day when I felt negative about everything, I sat myself down and decided I needed to find a focus in order to block out the negative thoughts.

Nick’s cup was sitting there so I looked at it, checked out the design of the cup, thought of the beautiful dark-eyed boy who used it. Concentration on a concrete object suited my needs. 

Get Down & Personal
A friend recently diagnosed with cancer told me she found herself sobbing in the shower as emotions of anger and fear filled her body. Being a talented person with a needle, she decided to knit her vision of her cancer–dark yarn shaped like a ball, with knots and bumps, filled with mistakes. She can tear at it, throw it, grind it into the floor. It is her concrete release from fears of the unknown.

If you google visualization meditation there are many sites filled with methods and ideas for dealing with stress or negative thoughts. Look for what fits your life style and comfort zone. It doesn’t have to be complicated to work.

One last note: You might want to watch out if you hear me muttering, “Nick’s cup, Nick’s cup,” under my breath.